marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
