My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
