She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
