You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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