can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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