I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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