the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
