I feel great
I just peed on a car
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
