I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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