so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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