wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
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