you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize