listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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