I wish my penis had an off switch
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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