A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
