Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i came on her dog
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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