At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
