It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
