I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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