Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
