My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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