And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
