She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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