Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
