I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wanna passion pit in your ass
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
