i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
