I think i peed on brittanys purse
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
