i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
