You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
