So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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