I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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