Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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