Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize