Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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