let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
