did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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