Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We need a shit load of segways right now
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
