I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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