Fuck appropriateness.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
