Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
