Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
