she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
