just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
