I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
