I cockslap morals
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
