in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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