I don't think brook has ever known best
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
