Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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