Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
time to smoke my breakfast
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
