He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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