You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
