don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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