Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
