I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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