I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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