Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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