At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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