That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
