Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
