You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
