drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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