We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
