Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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