im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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