Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
