i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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