Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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