Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize