sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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