question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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